standards of festivity

the other night was miss reese's birthday extravaganza at the standard hotel in downtown los angeles. t'was the quintessential embodiment of all that is wonderous in an evening. we had a pleasant dinner, a festive bathtub full of alcohol, and a roof top complete with nauseating waterbed pods...oh and annoying bitches in the pool that splash you, and an unattractive white bitch who decides to swim topless.

i had the benzo washed and met with the folks at the orsini, purchased ice to fill the tub and proceeded to the hotel. miss reese got "wow" suite number 1012 and that's where we had our first shots of patron with the other folks. we got our wristbands and had dinner. i had a delightful burger and mel had a surprisingly good macaroni and cheese. it was wonderous how miss reesie-poo secretly paid for the entire meal. we go back to the hotel room and take pics with the giant foot, and drink some more. i had another shot of patron, a shot of some chocolate cake something-or-other, a cranberry vodka, and a cranberry hypnotic. i also had a big gulp of mel's crown and coke. so was i almost drunk? yup. the room is equipped with these drapes that act as partitions and i swear i thought that one of the drapes was an actual wall and i leaned on it and smacked right into the actual wall it was draped against.

the folks and i proceed to the roof where festive moments awaited. mel and i walked by the pool to check out the place, and this ugly asian bitch and her friends in the pool were like-- "if you keep standing there we're going to pull you in!" and splashed us. then there was this white bitch who was swimming with her female friend topless...and her tits weren't even nice. ew!

but yeah. so we danced a little, chatted a bit with the folks, and took fotographs. we even saw a black tranny with a dude at the bar. someone grabbed my ass. my face was not so much red from the alcohol, but more of a burnt orange, as the redness blended with my tan. i had a chat with someone that apparently lasted for ages, as there are pics to prove it. some people's outfits provided fodder for a quick commentary or four. oh, and lots of PDA. i can't handle it...

all in all, t'was a lovely evening, and i had a great tyme with my folks. it's so much fun when you and your peoples can easily say with confidence that you're the hottest ones at the place. okaaay!

enjoy!

just a little something i made...

reunited...

me and my dearest friend of all--- Photoshop! yay! so i will, yet again, look absolutely smoldering, thanks to some VERY VERY SLIGHT spramping with the McPhotoshop...heck, i'll do you too, if you're in a pic with me. okaaaay!

update

so it's not quite finished yet, but i thought it would be a festive moment if i updated you a touch.

as you can see, the body of the house is virginia vine, and the trim is spanish moss. the door and trim and chimney and a few patches of stucco need addressing, otherwise, you get the idea of the "look". note how the plants pop next to the green. what else? i went ice skating today for the first time ever ever ever! ok. till next blog.

congrats to my grad!

my jackie graduated with her BSN today! yay. t'was all spectacularity at CSUB and lots of pomp and circumstance filled the warm bakersfield air. but yeah. i'm so proud of my baby, and can't wait till she purchases her benz. i'd also like to congratulate my 3tards, as they finished highschool...but anyway...hooray for jackie!

pageantry of byuuuti

so i recently attended the Ms. Philippines Beauty Pageant (er...popularity contest) a couple of days ago at the Hilton Hotel, LAX. T'was a lovely night as i was with my 3tards and aunt fabulousity. the event was held by a Filipino humanitarian organization that likes to help hospitals and children and children in hospitals in the Philippines. AMR or something. so the fun wasn't so much the ceremony itself, as it was a bore.

well, let me tell you...

the event was hosted by some Filipino D-List celebrity and last year's Miss Philippines winner, Sheila Ferrari. no, i'm not kidding. that's really her name...it sounds like the name of a porn star or a stripper or a hooker. and what's even funnier is that she LOOKED the part. equipped with coloured contacts, falsies, hair extensions, and an awful cleavage-baring dress, Miss Ferrari sang the American national anthem. her voice is pretty, but she kept trying to channel Xtina Aguilera and ended up over-singing. she was even tossing her hair whilst she was singing. but yeah. she was a joke. she kept trying to act cute and be funny, and spoke with a baby voice, but was annoying instead. i swear her tits were fake...she kept shaking them whilst she was up at the podium announcing beauty pageant things.

it was fun listening to the fobs speak. they liked to say, "I would like to call on_____, to please come up da eeeeeestage." at one point Bernard Parks showed his support and did a little schpiel and one of the fobbish women was like---"Bernard Park, thank you so maash por dropping!" dropping what? lol. they provided lots of fodder throughout the evening for me to make fun of. it was hillarity at my table.

the most boring part of the event was the actual crowning ceremony. it was awful. it lasted for an eternity. there are three categories for the beauty queens. we have Mrs. Philippines, Miss Philippines, and Miss Teen Philippines. and each one has a Universe, World, and some 3rd place fancy name as well. so each one of those was crowned and the name of the person who would be placing the crown on the winner's head and the person pinning the sash were announced, and in betwixt each one there was an endless photo-session extravaganza as there was a line of paparazzi. after all nine women were crowned, i swear it had to be over 12 talent awards were handed out and after each one, an inspirational soft rock classic would play... the most ridiculous being the winner of the Lugaw Competition...they F-ing played Wind Beneath my Wings! lord...

so jonathan and I had our favourites for the Miss Philippines segment, because two of the girls were very fierce throughout the whole thing. the winner, Charlene, was a joke. she's in eighth grade, and i swear she has watched EVERY single episode of Top Model and the Tyra Banks show because she was very beyonce/tyra/top model/tranny-fierce. the way she would strike a pose to the beat of the music, and walk around like she was on a runway was a joke. i was wondering how she became so fierce, and it turns out her vocal coach and mentor is none other than miss spectacularity herself, Sheila Ferrari...making a baby-prostitute out of Miss Charlene.

but yeah. after the endless ceremony finally ended, we shook it up on the dance floor. me and jubilee had a wonderous tyme copying this silly white guy attempting to dance. it was a lovely night, but i don't think i ever want to do this again. unless of course, my jubilee is a participant...