so i recently attended the Ms. Philippines Beauty Pageant (er...popularity contest) a couple of days ago at the Hilton Hotel, LAX. T'was a lovely night as i was with my 3tards and aunt fabulousity. the event was held by a Filipino humanitarian organization that likes to help hospitals and children and children in hospitals in the Philippines. AMR or something. so the fun wasn't so much the ceremony itself, as it was a bore.
well, let me tell you...
the event was hosted by some Filipino D-List celebrity and last year's Miss Philippines winner, Sheila Ferrari. no, i'm not kidding. that's really her name...it sounds like the name of a porn star or a stripper or a hooker. and what's even funnier is that she LOOKED the part. equipped with coloured contacts, falsies, hair extensions, and an awful cleavage-baring dress, Miss Ferrari sang the American national anthem. her voice is pretty, but she kept trying to channel Xtina Aguilera and ended up over-singing. she was even tossing her hair whilst she was singing. but yeah. she was a joke. she kept trying to act cute and be funny, and spoke with a baby voice, but was annoying instead. i swear her tits were fake...she kept shaking them whilst she was up at the podium announcing beauty pageant things.
it was fun listening to the fobs speak. they liked to say, "I would like to call on_____, to please come up da eeeeeestage." at one point Bernard Parks showed his support and did a little schpiel and one of the fobbish women was like---"Bernard Park, thank you so maash por dropping!" dropping what? lol. they provided lots of fodder throughout the evening for me to make fun of. it was hillarity at my table.
the most boring part of the event was the actual crowning ceremony. it was awful. it lasted for an eternity. there are three categories for the beauty queens. we have Mrs. Philippines, Miss Philippines, and Miss Teen Philippines. and each one has a Universe, World, and some 3rd place fancy name as well. so each one of those was crowned and the name of the person who would be placing the crown on the winner's head and the person pinning the sash were announced, and in betwixt each one there was an endless photo-session extravaganza as there was a line of paparazzi. after all nine women were crowned, i swear it had to be over 12 talent awards were handed out and after each one, an inspirational soft rock classic would play... the most ridiculous being the winner of the Lugaw Competition...they F-ing played Wind Beneath my Wings! lord...
so jonathan and I had our favourites for the Miss Philippines segment, because two of the girls were very fierce throughout the whole thing. the winner, Charlene, was a joke. she's in eighth grade, and i swear she has watched EVERY single episode of Top Model and the Tyra Banks show because she was very beyonce/tyra/top model/tranny-fierce. the way she would strike a pose to the beat of the music, and walk around like she was on a runway was a joke. i was wondering how she became so fierce, and it turns out her vocal coach and mentor is none other than miss spectacularity herself, Sheila Ferrari...making a baby-prostitute out of Miss Charlene.
but yeah. after the endless ceremony finally ended, we shook it up on the dance floor. me and jubilee had a wonderous tyme copying this silly white guy attempting to dance. it was a lovely night, but i don't think i ever want to do this again. unless of course, my jubilee is a participant...
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